Two Gods, Still Nothing

The pianist Vladimir de Pachmann was famous for equal parts brilliance and eccentricity—faces, gestures, and sudden mood swings included. After a New York recital, a colleague went backstage to congratulate him and found him pacing, furious.

“Ach Gott! These American people—how they do! They know no music. I will go back to my Germany. Here they know nothing. I play like one god and what do they do?”

The visitor tried to calm him: “Yes, yes, Mr. Pachmann—you did play like a god.”

Pachmann snapped back, ego and genius in perfect harmony: “Like one god? I play like **two** gods—and they do nothing!”